(1 votes)
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Loading ...I mean, the word on the street is… his alleged mistress does work (A-rod perviously dated her) also read: Tiger Woods Drives Better When He’s Drunk by frat guy
Rachel Uchitel
Elin Nordegren
![elin-nordegren tiger woods wife picture[2]](http://reallychill.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/elin-nordegren-tiger-woods-wife-picture2.jpg "elin-nordegren tiger woods wife picture[2]")
Archive for November, 2009
Chill Off: Who’s Hotter, Tiger’s Wife or Alleged Mistress? [poll]
(1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...Tiger Woods Drives Better When He’s Drunk
(3 votes)
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As the resident frat guy, I found it more than necessary to weigh in on a current event: Tiger Woods’ recent car accident. I think we all know that something smells a little fishy with this one. Let’s look at the facts:
- There is still an “ongoing investigation”
- Tiger hit a fire hydrant, and then a tree which was several yards away
- His wife shattered the back window of his Escalade to “pull him out”
- The accident happened at 2:30 in the morning
- He refuses to talk to police or the media about it
- In the same week, reports about an affair with a NYC socialite surfaced
What do I think about this? I think that after living in his house for at least a few years, he’s probably backed out of his driveway several hundred times. In doing so (call me crazy), he probably noted all the surroundings, like a fire hydrant or a giant tree, and managed to always avoid them. Now…what would cause him to run over the fire hydrant and slam into a tree? Probably a little bit of Grandpa’s Cough Medicine.
See, Tiger reminds me of a few friends in my college days who liked to say, “trust me, I drive better when I’m drunk…I pay closer attention to detail.” In this case, I’m sure Tiger just found his car to be a little dirty and wanted to give it a rinse. Needless to say, drunk driving is terrible, and I don’t want to classify it as “fratty.” However, what is fratty is running over objects that are hundreds of yards from your driveway, in a routine attempt to back out. Because guys in houses don’t really care about their surroundings.
Golf fans, Tiger’s hot wife, and people everywhere-brace yourself: Tiger was DRUNK. This is the only explanation. My guess is that he and his smoking hot Swedish model got into a little argumentski over the discovery of Tiger’s “New York Girl” (see, sports stars have at least one in every city). Tiger probably had heard enough and was going to go meet up with Dwight Howard for a good time in downtown Orlando. As he was driving off, my guess is Elin unleashed on his back window, he swerved to avoid her, drunkenly overcompensated, and in doing so left some fire hydrant carnage.
Now, Tiger does what any fratguy would do in an awkward situation (like, say, when the Dean catches you hazing 25 half-naked pledges, using two quarts of honey, a hose, thousand island dressing, and seran wrap)…you cover it up. “Ya Dean, we were just doing some science experiments down here in the basement…weren’t we guys?”
Straight from tigerwoods.com: “Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible…”
Oh and Elin apparently bashed the back window in to drag him out of the car. Why would you bash in the window farthest from the driver’s seat to get someone out? You’re telling me, she bashed it in, crawled over broken glass, over two rows of seats, grabbed her 200+ pound husband, and dragged him back out to safety? If so, hats off to the world’s most heroic supermodel. I’m just not a believer yet…
You be the judge people…
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The CEA – Counter Exclusivity Argument “#thatsexcl” [guide]
(2 votes)
Loading ...Yeah so like… last week I probably wrote the most exclusive thing on this site: Mr Exclusive’s Exclusivity? There’s an app for that Guide book
Anyway you guys are really lucky because I’m going to give you a piece of advice I usually charge commoners for. It’s this little known technique called the CEA: The Counter Exclusivity Argument.
Counter Exclusivity Argument
The Counter Exclusivity Argument is an art form used by exclusive individuals to refute claims of non-exclusivity. For example, if someone spots you (Lord forgive) waiting in line for something, you could use CEA to state:
“It’s actually more exclusive to be seen here in line, and have everyone else behind me, see me and then talk about me. Having people talk about you? #thatsexcl”
Notice that the above statement almost always ends in a proclamation of exclusivity (when online, you can abbreviate this statement by the hash tag “#thatsexcl” short for “that’s exclusive”).
The worst thing that an exclusive individual could possibly get accused of is being non-exclusive. That’s why I’ve come up with some simple tips on our to refute those outrageous claims in certain situations.
Being in a photograph with other people
If you’ve read the IPOE guide, this situation can clearly be justified
“Yeah, so like, I’m going to be in this picture so you can put it on your facebook, and then I can de-tag it, just so people will have to ask you who I am #thatsexcl”
Answering the phone
Again here, don’t be shy about lying. Try one of the examples from the exclusivity app guide.
“Hey, yeah I’m actually on the phone with myself (you called one phone from another phone – yours) so I can’t talk to you right now. #thatexcl”
Not going out
Consciously refusing to go out in order to be by yourself is exclusive by nature. However, going out, being seen, cutting lines, spending money, etc etc, are all exclusive as well, which presents an inherent contradiction. Here’s how I handle this one. Go ahead and make plans with friends and family. Make sure you plan it carefully; pick the time, place, location, all the activities you will be doing with them. When show time comes, and you’re not there, people freak out, try to call you, desperately attempting to figure out where you are.
Here’s how you deal with this:
“Yeah… so like, I was going to meet up with you guys, but I realized how much I enjoy spending time with myself. Soooo like me… not being seen with you…. yeah… #thatsexcl”
MY FAVORITE: Ordering multiple drinks
When you get caught ordering two drinks, use this (this is RICH):
“Well I’m ordering two drinks so that I can drink one and then tell the bartender to pour the other on his head if he wants a tip. This way, women can see that I have money to waste (excl) and I can force others to degrade themselves for my pleasure…also excl. #thatsexcl”
There you have it. Please use these tips sparingly and only when you have to. As always, remember to stay exclusive – mr excl
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Miley Cyrus set jay-z fans back another 50 years
(1 votes)
Loading ...Oh no, this isn’t new, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not setting back members of African American community (We know there are a lot of non African American Jay-z fans, but just go with it). God bless Miley, we love her and everything, but this is just wrong. Just watch:
Yeah… wow, we’re speechless, what do you think?
Image from perez
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Katie Couric gets down… like REALLY DOWN [cougarwatch]
(1 votes)
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Katie, Katie, Katie… we don’t really buy “your story” of meeting your boyfriend (who is 19 years younger at a triathlon – she clearly met him online [that's legendary]).
You know what Katie? That’s actually really fratty and we salute you and all cougars taking down young cubs (read our previous post on cougarlife). Oh yeah and what you all came here for:
Not only does she date younger, she knows how to have a good time. Clearly she was in a house… a top house, and guess what? That’s like REALLY chill (and fratty too)
- Frat Guy
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-11-29
(1 votes)
Loading ...- new: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-11-22 http://reallychill.org/updates/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2009-11-22/ #
- #syncmyridepodcast #
- new: Adam Lambert just set American Idol waaay back (and the new song isn't that good) http://reallychill.org/?p=195 #thatschill #
- new: Fratology 101 – the greatest moment in frat party music history [fratmusic.com] http://reallychill.org/?p=205 #thatschill #
- @FratMusic We love you guys! Keep doing what you're doing #
- new: I got this for my girlfriend and trust me it works – shake weight http://reallychill.org/?p=153 #thatschill #
- new: [retro] Brohemian Rhapsody http://reallychill.org/?p=273 #thatschill #
- new: The Least Exclusive Holiday of the Year – Thanksgiving http://reallychill.org/?p=267 #thatschill #
- new: MTV #
- new: Chill Off: Which song – Summer of 69 Vs. Sweet Home Alabama Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment. http://reallychill.org/?p=298 #thatschill #
- new: Exclusivity? There's an app for that [guide] http://reallychill.org/?p=321 #thatschill #
- new: Chill Off: Fratty Thanksgiving Activities http://reallychill.org/?p=334 #thatschill #
- new: Happy Thanksgiving http://reallychill.org/?p=348 #thatschill #
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Happy Thanksgiving
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Hey we wanted to quickly say happy birthday, we’ll be back to regular 2-3 posts a day this weekend.
Here are some good posts from this past week incase you missed them:
- Exclusivity? There’s an app for that [guide] by mr exclusive
- MTV & the Jersey Shore set the East Coast back [fact] by mr west coast
- The Least Exclusive Holiday of the Year – Thanksgiving by mr exclusive
- Fratology 101 – the greatest moment in frat party music history [fratmusic.com] by frat guy
- The greatest/sketchiest site known to man – CougarLife by frat guy
- The single greatest moment in human history – the mailman by frat guy
P.S. a quick thanksgiving message from Mr Exclusive – “I celebrated thanksgiving yesterday because no one else did #thatsexcl”
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Chill Off: Fratty Thanksgiving Activities
(1 votes)
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Now that it’s Thanksgiving Break, bros have an obligation to perform at least some form of athletic activity to remind them how much they killed it in high school.
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Exclusivity? There’s an app for that [guide]
(1 votes)
Loading ...Yep, you knew it was coming… we had to touch on this, because it’s getting out of control. Verizon and AT&T are going tit for tat over who has more 3G coverage, which network is bigger, what phone can run more apps – iPhone vs Droid – etc. Let me put this issue to bed right now.
The exclusive guide to technology and smart phones
Best Option: Not having a phone
The writing is on the wall. There’s no better proverbial f-you than when someone asks you, “Hey! what’s your number?” and being able to definitely say… “yeah… about that number… don’t have one, sorry.” The sheer look and expression of utter bewilderment that in the new digital millennium, you would actually choose to not participate with the rest of modern society (that’s exclusive).
The only thing more exclusive than not owning a phone, is not knowing the number to your own phone. Not because you are stupid, just because you never give it out #thatsexcl.
Imagine this, you’re at an interview, the interviewer is reviewing your resume, they ask the simple question? “hey, so your resume looks great! We’re going to definitely follow up with you on this, I noticed you didn’t leave any contact information… how would you like us to get in contact you?”
AH HA! You’ve got them exactly where you want them, this is it, this is the moment you know you are the most exclusive person in the room, the office, possible the entire world. You answer: “yeah… about contacting me… don’t worry about, i’ll contact you.” When you can convincingly walk out of a room and say that, that’s when you know, you’re like REALLY chill.
Next Best Option: Having Multiple phones
Personally, this is the option I choose. I have 3 phones
Phone #1 – this is the number everyone knows about (not exclusive). I usually don’t pick it up – you know, unless it’s receiving a call from one of my two other phones. Yes, you read this correctly, I actually have another phone that’s so exclusive it only calls my other phone. #thatsexcl.
Phone #2 – This phone is only used to call phone #1. I use this to call myself to remind me how exclusive I am.
Phone #3 – this is the phone I make outgoing calls from. I have a phone for the sole purpose of calling other phones but the number remains private so that no one will ever be able to call me back. The only two numbers stored in the contact book are phone #1 and phone #2.
So remember kids, the next time someone asks your opinion on a smart phone, and you wish to exhibit maximum exclusivity, you can definitively say:
“I really don’t know and I really don’t care. If you’re looking for a phone, I can’t help you because I don’t have one (you can say this even if you do have one). In fact, there’s an app for not having a phone: it’s called being exclusive.”
Mr Exclusive – late
Related Posts:
Chill Off: Which song – Summer of 69 Vs. Sweet Home Alabama [poll]
(1 votes)
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Here at yourelikereallychill.com (reallychill.org for short) we are concerned with one thing.. being like REALLY chill. For the midday edition today we’re doing a quick poll, which song is like, more, chill?
What song is frattier? Summer of 69 vs. Sweet Home Alabama.
- Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama (61%, 52 Votes)
- Brian Adams - Summer of 69 (39%, 33 Votes)
Total Voters: 85
Loading ...Here are the songs incase you aren’t that chill and may not have heard them.
Summer of 69
Sweet Home Alabama
Make your case by teeing-off in the comment section. Or, if you think we completely missed the boat, check this out and let us know.
Enjoy!
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