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Archive for December, 2009
[Video] Bobby Bottle Service auditions for Jersey Shore
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Loading ...#intro – You’re like REALLY Chill: The definitive guide to a lifestyle of exclusivity and awesomeness
From: The definitive guide to a lifestyle of exclusivity and awesomeness
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Ladies & Gentlemen,
We here at ReallyChill.Org are excited to announce that we are compiling the best content on this site into a manuscript entitled You’re Like Really CHILL: The Definitive Guide To a lifestyle of Exclusivity & Awesomeness.
The book is a numbered guide of all that is like really chill, written by your favorite personalities: Mr. Exclusive, That Guy, Frat Guy, Mr. West Coast and others. Sit back, enjoy a single malt scotch alone at a bar while everyone waits outside in the rain, and let us illuminate the secrets of leading a really chill lifestyle.” When is it appropriate to change the music at a party?’ “What basic steps can I take to make myself more unavailable and, hence, more exclusive? We’ll touch on these life-altering subjects and many more.
If you are interested in carrying the novella in your establishment (we hear that people still go to bookstores these days, even though we ourselves have deemed reading materials anti-exclusive), please drop us a note by contacting us
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[PODCAST] Really Chill Cast 3 – Holiday Stories, NFL, Loopt, Foursquare & Manscaping
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Really Chill Cast 3 - Holiday Stories, NFL, Loopt, Foursquare & Manscaping [24:24] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (249)Sit back and relax with mr exclusive and that guy, make sure you leave a funny voice mail on our new listener line: 212-203-0483 and we’ll play the funny ones next episode.
Holiday Stories
- Renting out a club for yourself #thatsexcl
- playing taboo with the family, watching movies
- eating a lot of ham
- flying a private jet but keeping it on the tarmac
Songs This week
- That Guy: The Game – Big Money
- Mr Exclusive: Ghostland Observatory – Sad Sad City
NFL’s Undefeated season
- Mr exclusive is not happy about pulling payton out of the game
- Obama we love you
Loopt & Foursquare
- Mr Westcoast lies about how exclusive he is
- Loopt is bad if you have a girlfriend
Is that chill? Manscaping
- Mr Exclusive: Yeahhhh, its like pretty chill: but it has limits, no eyebrows
- That Guy: Nahhhh, not that chill: but keep downstairs clean
Announcements
- Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes!!! – http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=348117988
- Leave suggestions for next episodes “Is that chill?” in the comments section of this post
- Leave us a voicemail for next week’s episode, call us! 212-203-0483
MP3 File: Really Chill Cast 3 – Holiday Stories, NFL & Manscaping.mp3
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The downfall of Notre Dame explained
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Loading ...Recently, my non-exclusive friends directed me to an email that has been circulating among college football fans. I felt it was imperative to provide a few thoughts on this plagued college football program.
Now, since I came out of the womb with a copy of S.I. and thirty rack of Keystone Ice, each Saturday I spend the entire day watching college football, like any well-groomed frat guy. But rather than going to a bar, I prefer to remain exclusive and watch every game alone in my room, with no human contact. In my solitude, I’ve noticed that Notre Dame sucks — like, really badly. Not because they hired an ex-NFL coach with no college experience, not because they dont accept thugged-out junior college transfers onto the team, and not because they play in South Bend (aka bumble-f*** Indiana). Rather, Notre Dame is a terrible football school because of the non-exclusivity that surrounds their quarterback, team and girls.
Exhibit A
Mark Sanchez doing work at USC
The pictures illustrate a direct, scientifically-proven correlation -proven by espn.com and other credible sources – between the quantity of smoking hot girls at a school and that school’s success in division 1 NCAA football. Do a simple google image search of “Florida gators girls” or Texas, Georgia, or USC and you’ll see what I mean.
Exhibit B
Tim Tebow and the talent at Florida
Girls resembling Exhibit A and B above pop up. For ND…non-exclusive girls like the ones you see pictured below appear.
College recruiting takes a simple path: during senior year in high school, a college coach offers a star athlete a starting role, a storied program, and possible NFL success. During his campus visit, the current players take him out with the cheerleaders, and other specimens, to get a “taste” of what he’ll be dealing with. Imagine being a recruit looking at Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen, the “star” player, taking pictures with these two…
Exhibit C
Clausen and the women of Notre Dame
Clausen’s first mistake is that he allowed himself to be photographed in the first place. To stay exclusive, I either hire a photographer to follow me around all night, or I dictate who will be lucky enough to be photographed with me. Clausen clearly wasn’t being exclusive by allowing commoners to enter the frame. At least use your linemen to screen potentials for you.
When the “leader” of the team refuses to be exclusive, the team follows suit. Once this vicious cycle establishes itself, things like a townie sucker punching you in a bar happen. Then you go .500 for the season. Then your coach is fired. But worst of all, you come to think it’s ok to wear a dog tag with your jersey number on it.
Colt McCoy and Texas work
The exclusive bird catches the worm. The non-exclusive bird catches a right hook to the eye.
-Frat guy
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-27
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...- New: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-20 http://reallychill.org/updates/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2009-12-20/ #
- New: That Guy who singlehandedly ruins your holiday travel http://reallychill.org/?p=234 #
- New: Really Chill Cast 1 [podcast] http://reallychill.org/?p=547 #
- Really Chill Cast 1 [#podcast] http://goo.gl/fb/F4Pn #mrexclusive #thatguy #
- New: Russian researcher invents the most exclusive way to pregame http://reallychill.org/?p=541 #
- RT @reallychill http://reallychill.org/exclusvitity/russian-researcher-invents-the-most-exclusive-way-to-pregame/ #
- New: [NEWS UPDATE]: Blackberry data restored, hardship still widespread http://reallychill.org/?p=622 #
- New: Really Chill Cast 2 – Blackberry, Obama vs Bush, Gym, Is that Chill? http://reallychill.org/?p=656 #
- Really Chill Cast 2 – Blackberry, #Obama vs #Bush, #Gym, Is that Chill? http://goo.gl/fb/UH7h #audio #fratty #podcast #
- New: [FIELD REPORT] Black Santa Claus arrested for breaking and entering his own house. http://reallychill.org/?p=646 #
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[PODCAST] Really Chill Cast 2 – Blackberry, Obama vs Bush, Gym, Is that Chill?
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Loading ...It’s back again… The You’re like really CHILL’s… Really Chill Cast (mouthful). Check out the show notes from this controversial podcast after the jump.
MP3 File: Really Chill Cast 2
Recent posts
- Is blackberry being down a big deal?
- We hate showing ‘read’ and ‘delivered’ on blackberry messenger
- The preview message technique has ruined blackberry messenger
Obama vs Bush
- Who gets more work done? Obama or Bush
- Mr Exclusive goes on a conservative rant defending bush
- Obama we love you
Doing work at the Gym
- Don’t give out numbers if you aren’t going to do work
NEW SEGMENT: Is that chill? Grunting at the gym
- Mr Exclusive: Nahhhh, not that chill: Please, stop showing off
- That Guy: Yeahhhh, its like pretty chill: I’m trying to get in the zone
Announcements
- Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes!!! – http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=348117988
- Leave suggestions for next episodes “Is that chill?” in the comments section of this post
- Leave us a voicemail for next week’s episode, call us! 212-203-0483
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[FIELD REPORT] Black Santa Claus arrested for breaking and entering his own house.
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Loading ...Reporting from Jumpertown, Mississippi
Arnold Posner arrested for breaking and entering into his own house
Local Members of the NAACB (National Association for the Advancement of Colored Bro’s) have decided to drop their case against the Jumpertown, Mississippi Police Department after officials deemed the whole incident a “misunderstanding” For some, the incident is already being called a Really Chill Christmas Miracle.
Last week, members of the black community were outraged when reports surfaced that Arnold Posner, a local resident of Jumpertown, was arrested for breaking and entering into his own home. His neighbor and high school football teammate Steve Falor made this comment to the Jumpertown Minute last week:
I mean, It was really messed up but I guess I kind of understand where the cops were coming from… this is a really nice neighborhood and there aren’t a lot of Black folk around, so if he was passing by… well… you know… he was breaking and entering… delivering presents.
After news of Posner’s arrest hit the 24/7 news cycle, the officer on the scene were questioned about his motive. Sergeant Jason McCormick later admitted
After it became blatantly clear to me that he was breaking and entering into his own house, I neglected the facts because I was hoping that we would —you know — all get to share a beer with president Obama and debate racial stereotypes.
sharing beers with obama ... reaallly chill
Members of the black community rose up in opposition to this clear display of racial injustice until the NAACB released this statement
Members of the African American community: we share your feelings of utter disgust and disapproval of the unjust treatment of African Americans in their own homes. In our effect to remain objective, when the police sergeant admitted his intentions, we concluded that his cause was just. We would like to join the officer and Arnold Poser at the table when beers start flowing with the President.
After this historic event came to a sound conclusion, executives from Hollywood began discussing film rights to “Arnold Posner: A Really Chill Christmas Mircale” with Mr. Posner. The film is labeled as a short vignette on how being chill is breaking racial stereotypes and uniting a nation this holiday season.
Mr Stereotype -Out
Read more comedy from Mr Stereotype
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[NEWS UPDATE] Blackberry data restored, hardship still widespread
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Loading ...Seated at the edge of his hospital bed with his head buried in his hands, 22 year-old Jason Marks never thought he would spend the night in the UCLA Medical Center his first time home from college in six months.
When my 7th bbm to this one girl I met at this one club didn’t go through, I started wondering, ‘was it something I said? What the hell is going on?! I’m like supposed to be KILLING IT right now,’
said Jason, a native of Pacific Palisades.
I couldn’t take it anymore. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m a That Guy (TG) — you know, that guy who played high school varsity football all four years and still talks about. When BBM went down, well, the panic set in and I decided to check myself into this joint,
Jason in the hospital being chill
he said, referring to UCLA Ronald Reagan Memorial Hospital.
Even with Blackberry’s data centers functional, the pain caused by the outage has taken its toll on many loyal RIM subscribers.
We’re calling it Post Tramautic Messenger Disorder, or PTMD for short,
said Dr. Marvin Hainsworth, a neuroscientist specializing in Blackberry behavior.
Many individuals are having a hard time recovering from the loss of data, making them especially vulnerable.
Vin, a 25-year-old from Cranberry, NJ who declined to give his last name, echoed Dr. Hainsworth’s sentiments:
“Yeah, so like, I had to make some actual phone calls to my boys from Cherry Hill to see what they wanted to do last night. It was terrible, you know, hearing their actual voices. Even now that my BBM is working, I’m never going to be able to get those conversations out of my mind, no matter how much I try.
Delayed BBM’s causing High Levels of Anxiety
Recipients of extremely late BBM’s haven’t been immune from the Blackberry carnage.
I decided to go to sleep really early last night since BBM wasn’t working, which meant there was no point even staying awake, you know?
said Kirsten, a 22 year-old female from La Jolla.
Then I wake up this morning and there’s like, 23 BBM’s from this guy I think I gave my number to a couple weeks ago. He kept asking me if I was trying to “watch an episode of Lost” and I guess since nothing was getting delivered he kept resending. I’m not really sure what to do now since I can’t respond to these types of messages unless I’m drunk. So I might down a few shots before I say anything, obviously.
Kristen’s not alone in her discomfort. Many recipients of delayed BBM’s are feeling confused and insecure by the catastrophe.
Kelly showing off her "exclusivity" and two phones
I’m like, not sure what the proper etiquette is here,
said Kelly, a 28 year-old from Miami.
I got a bunch of BBM’s that just came in now. One simply said ‘soo, like, you tryna hang out or what?’ The context of these messages is completely skewed since I received them at 12 p.m. I’m not really sure what to do.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing PTMD, please seek help. Protect yourself and your loved ones in this difficult time.
For more resources on Dealing with exclusivity etiquette, check out our guide on the Inverse Propensity of Exclusivity (IPOE)
Search for blackberry alternatives on amazon
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[BREAKING NEWS] Cellphone data networks go down, forcing unprecedented reports of awkward phone conversations
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Loading ...Frat Guy Reporting from Los Angeles, California
Last update from New York, New York
As of 21:41:04 UTC +500 – New York, NY
What was first labeled one of the greatest shortcomings in the history of mankind has quickly morphed into utter chaos. AT&T and Verizon (probably Sprint and T-Mobile too, but no one cares about those two) 3G, CDMA and Edge data networks have experienced what officials are calling “Inadvertent data communication failures.” To the layman, BLACKBERRY MESSENGER IS DOWN, pull your money out of the banks and start stuffing your mattress. The world is coming to an end.
Frat Guys and That Guys in major metropolitan areas are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety, mostly due to the BBM outage on the of precious days leading up to Christmas.
“This is a really important day for Those Guys,”
said Shawn, a 21 year-old senior at an undisclosed university in upstate New York.
“In fact, studies show that the days leading up to Christmas are second only to the day before Thanksgiving for doing work on random girls from the past. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.”
The world literally coming to an end, due to BBM outage
Like Shawn, many college-aged males cite the days leading up to Christmas as some of the most revered days of the year. It’s the time when males return to their old stomping grounds in a frenzy. Committing random acts of late night blackberry messaging is essential for frat guys to hook up with old hometown heroes and local slam pieces.
Typical "That Guy" attempting to rekindle a lost love during winter holiday season
Those Guys (TG’s) aren’t the only ones experiencing the pains of BBM outage. For Really Chill Bros (RCB’s) around the country, the BBM shortage is causing major health-related issues.
“I’m like reeeaally freaking out because now, like I can no longer go to a bar, sit in a corner – by myself — and have people watch me Blackberry Message(BBM for short) random acts of sketchyness to chicks across the bar, whose name I will probably forgot in 15 minutes,”
said Talan, a 22 year-old surfer from Newport Beach and self described RCB.
example of blackberry douchebaggery
Both AT&T and Verizon have received millions of complaints that the BBM outage has forced people to talk on the phone, which just isn’t that chill for some citizens.
“If I wanted to have an actual conversation with a human being, I would have bought an iPhone or something shittier a long time ago, like a flip phone”
said Alex, a junior at Ole Miss.
In some areas of the country, forced, verbal communication has brought out barbarian behavior. In Minneapolis, 15 people were arrested for setting their blackberries on fire in the middle of a public street. When asked what prompted such unprecedented action, lawyers of the accused cited
“extreme anxiety caused by awkward pauses and repeated lengths of silence.”
Like many across the country, these residents literally forgot how to preform verbal communication.
Please check reallychill.org for breaking news on the life threatening situation. Search for blackberry alternatives on amazon
There’s been an update to this story:
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