(1 votes)
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The New York Times made headway this morning, taking a break from mainstream, plebeian topics like cilantro and those Tea Party people and instead, giving us a glimpse into where the most exclusive people on this planet live. Halfay between Africa and South America? 1000 miles off the coast of New Zealand? The capital of Greenland. They’ve got it covered.
(1 votes)
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In a major statement Sunday afternoon in pristine Augusta, Georgia, Phil Mickelson not only won a major victory for good, family guys everywhere but he also proved that Flow can capture championships.
Sporting his signature KPMG black hat, Mickelson’s flow was in full effect throughout the tournament, a major factor that experts have attributed to his fine play. In fact, a Harvard Sociology study has shown that golfers with flow have exceeded public expectations during just about every Major. It remains to be seen what long-term effects Mickelson’s victory will have on Flow’s emergence on a mainstream level, but we here at Really Chill Dot Org could not be happier with this short-term victory.
Remember, don’t be a sellout: Let that flow continue to grow!
(2 votes)
Loading ...Just when you thought you heard it all, today.. the New York Post is reporting that Tiger allegedly slept with his neighbor’s (at the time) 21 year old daughter
Raychel Coudriet, Tiger Wood's neighbor's daughter
Let’s do a quick recap of how chill Tiger has been lately.
To all RCB’s(Really Chill Bro’s) out there, that are looking for examples of “doing me” look no farther.
Tiger Woods, You’re like REALLY Chill
(7 votes)
Loading ...A debate between Frat Guy and Mr. West Coast.
During a recent trip back to their alma mater frat guy and mr west coast had two things on their mind: getting weird and DALOW. In order to accomplish these goals, however, each man took separate paths. In the end, their journeys left each of them arguing which was the right path, or rather, which was less wrong…
Frat Guy’s Night: Instead of going out to all the college bars, I decided to go by myself (excl) down to the sketchier townie bars. Once there, my lack of a posse advertised that I was single and ready to DALOW. This aura immediately attracted attention from an older woman across the bar. She came over to me (not having to make the move? excl) and we started to chat it up. After a few drinks I found out that she works at the college I went to, is 39, and an ex-swimsuit model. It showed.
She had the eye of the cougar, and the quick analysis of her ringless finger proved she was hungry for a kill. Drinks turned to shots, 11pm turned to 1am, and before I knew it, I was walking her out the bar with my arm around her. I had only promised to “walk her to the car,” but the car proved to be den enough for this cougar. What ensued could only be described as aggressive. This woman-a decade and a half my senior-gave me a quick education in the backseat of the car on why women really are like a fine wine…
Mr West Coast’s Night: Some fellow bros and I headed to an army-themed party at the frathouse for some good old college-style partying. While drinking in one of the rooms I was introduced to two young freshman donning some serious fatigues. After talking to one from LA for a bit, I was interrupted mid-sentence when Juicy came on; “Hold on, this is my song.” Regardless of the fact she was 4 when this was released, that’s like a REALLY chill song to call “yours.”
A little more background revealed I wasn’t dealing with your typical 19 year-old Orange County girl. Juicy gave way to a sketchy closed-door dance party with multiple freshman girls and my fellow brahs (all 24, mind you). After a few shots and more drinks, the sketchiness continued on the bottom floor, where the party was going down. Conveniently, some worthless pledges had constructed some sort of “P.O.W. cage” which immediately served as grounds for freshman-year-style grinding and dancing. If there’s one thing west coast girls know how to do, it’s drop it like its hot. None of this, I grew up in an all-girls-east-coast-boarding-school-where-thinking-about-boys-was-illegal-so-i-barely-move-my-hips-type dancing. After leaving to grab another brewski I lost track of said freshman, but received a text: “ummm you’re like really chill.” She…GETS it. Unfortunately I had to leave for the bars and smaller age gaps, but her ensuing bbm game proved to be just as sharp as mine as she referred to me as “bro,” “hommie,” and “fool” all in the same convo. She really did read at a graduate level because that’s wisdom beyond her years when it comes to west coast communication… which leads me to state: if grinding with girls born after the Wall fell is wrong…I don’t want to be right.
The Verdict: by Mr Exclusive
While I’m so exclusive I only hook up with myself, I was actually chosen to moderate this debate of older vs younger, real housewives vs gossip girl, or days of our lives vs. the hills. Allow us to take examples from Hollywood-a place with all the answers. Example A: Hollywood Cradle Robbers:
Some people might “frown” upon anyone out of college having any sort of contact with underclassmen. Lets look at Livestrong and Michelle (I didn’t bother learning the twin’s name because having someone look exactly like you isn’t excl). When she was 19, he was 34. Should we continue? When Catherine Zeta-Jones was 19, M. Douglas was 44, and when Anna Nicole was 19, J Howard Marshall was 84 (and probably dead). Now these were some of America’s “sweethearts,” and America didn’t have a problem with those cradle robbers. But agreeing with America and Hollywood isn’t always excl. Lets look at Frat Guy’s scenario.
Example B: Hollywood Cougar Hunters
Most any guy will tell you Ashton’s a legend. Bruce got too old and bald, so the young gun who’s never really accomplished anything in Hollywood took over Demi, and eventually the family: thatsexcl. Ashton? HKI. He’s so excl now, he doesn’t even appear on his own show. Now sure Demi’s been around the block a few times, but therein lies the advantage: a cougar can identify young guys who are killing it and this makes them go in for their own kill. Clearly Frat Guy’s cougar could tell HKI, but did Mr West Coast’s young G.I. Jane have any idea? Frat Guy leveraged a voracious appetite, like Ashton did, and started killing it to the nth degree. But will Ashton and Demi end up looking like this (40 and 61)?
or this (41 and 54)?
Crows feet, Lifetime Original Movies, and Menopause? Too big a risk to run. Frat Guy…you DALOW but I’m going to have to side with the bro.
(5 votes)
Loading ...Fact: Everyone who has graduated college and now works in the “real world” constantly laments their decision to pass all their classes, graduate on time, and leave the four year fantasy world of undergraduate life behind for paychecks and alarm clocks.
Once in a while, however, the displaced Frat Guy will be summoned by colleagues Bro Montana and Bro Namath to make a bro-trip to their alma mater. The purpose of the journey is quite simple: get weird, kill it and DALOW(do a lot of work). Below, you’ll find some tips on how to DALOW as a sketchy, too-old for college, what-is-this-guy-doing-back-here-again alumni visitor.
Guys: so, After waking up in the [frat] house Sunday morning covered in blood, and getting a ride back towards you guys from the chef’s wife, I did a little research to find out what the hell happened to me at the party.
According to Dave [one current frat bro]:
‘you were stumbling everywhere- smashing your head and body into walls. you made yourself throw up in the 2nd floor bathroom (which you subsequently flooded, and now the hallway is soaked). your nose started bleeding which is why your shirt is ruined. i brought you to the deck room and thats where you slept. i had a pledge check on you every 10 min to make sure you were alive. basically you were throwing yourself all over the place, and face planted on the dance floor. everyone saw you, even the pledges. they were like..’wow these alums are so fratty and don’t give a shit about anything.’ they loved it.’”
Notice the consistent themes: getting weird, getting really fratty, having no regard for your own health or others’ sanity as you spew all sorts of bodily fluids on them.
Have a good post-college return visit? Drop us a line in the comments.
(1 votes)
Loading ...Last week, we gave you an education in an integral phrase of every chill star’s lexicon: Killing It. For those craving some extra practice in fraticulture, please try using the variations of Killing It: “Murder/Murk” and KOKI (Kind Of Killing It).
This week we bring you a new phrase: #2 DALOW
DALOW: acronym for: Do A Lot Of Work. Origin: Greek. Verb. To accomplish more than what is normal or expected with the opposite sex. (*Note “work” does not refer to one’s profession, unless one’s profession is “killing it.”)
Variations: Did a lot of work, doing a lot of work.
Used in a context:
1. “Shawn, where are you?” “I’m at some stupid art gallery opening but there’s a ton of hot girls and all the guys are hipsters, so I’ve already got five numbers, and made out with some girl in the bathroom. I’m DALOW.”
2. “Yo did you do work last night” “Nahh…couldn’t DALOW. Shit got waay too weird at the bar.”
(3 votes)
Loading ...We know, we know. It’s been a while since we last posted, but it’s tough to make time to “write” when you’ve been doing things like “winning” for a couple of months straight. Nevertheless, we missed you guys and we’re back with a brand new feature: The Really Chill Phrase of the Week.
Obviously, an essential part of being REALLY chill is having your own terminology that, well, you and maybe a handful of people understand. For that reason, we decided to introduce a couple of key expressions that must be part of your vernacular if you want to be exponentially chiller than you currently are.
#1. YKI. (“Why Kay Eye”) Acronym for: “You’re killing it.” Verb. Origin: Greek.
The act of “killing” or “murdering it” in any situation, regardless of external factors such as country, weather, or social setting; winning at all costs, doing something legendary. Used in a sentence: “Jonny-I heard you got a table at 1Oak last night then took the bottle waitresses on your G6 to LA where you went to a party at the playboy mansion…YKI.”
Alternate uses: HKI-hes killing it, SKI-shes killing it. IKI-im killing it, I killed it, I’ll kill it, I’ve killed it. NKI – Not killing it.
Close synonyms: YMI: “You murdered/murked it.”
For the chillest of chill…“KMM” – “Kill Murder Murk” Used in a sentence: “I drank so much at that bar, got 10 girls numbers, lost my phone, and got thrown out of own apartment complex. I KMM’d the night.”
(3 votes)
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Charles Barkley
25. After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: “You know why that little girl’s crying? It’s because she’s thinking ‘my daddy’s a wussy’”.
24. Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are2 going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”
23. “It’s kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith’s house.”
22. “I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.”
21. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: “Phone home.” And later he remarks to Kenny, “Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he’s not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.”
20. While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: “Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can’t just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the ‘hood.”
19. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t let many black people in the governor’s mansion in Alabama,” he said, “unless they’re cleaning.”
18. On the goal of the ‘92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: “To get the Canal back.”
17. To Kenny: “Hakeem couldn’t kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!”
16. Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked “is the first NBA player from Finland”. Charles replies: “Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he’s the only person in Finland.”
15. On supersized Oliver Miller: “You can’t even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.”
14. “All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.”
13. On North Carolina missing 22 of its last 23 shots in losing to Georgetown in the NCAA tournament last weekend: “Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.”
12. I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.
11. “I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”
10. On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: “In between arrests they do community service.”
9. “Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine.
8. “Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.”
7. “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”
6. “Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I’m full.”? Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts
5. “I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.”
4. On the All-Star Game: “Hell, there ain’t but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of ‘em are right here in this room.”
3. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: “Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.”
2. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”
1. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says.
“Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.”
submitted via email, thanks!
(1 votes)
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brobible does it again
big thanks to @iamsoexclusive for this submission
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