In a major statement Sunday afternoon in pristine Augusta, Georgia, Phil Mickelson not only won a major victory for good, family guys everywhere but he also proved that Flow can capture championships.

Sporting his signature KPMG black hat, Mickelson’s flow was in full effect throughout the tournament, a major factor that experts have attributed to his fine play. In fact, a Harvard Sociology study has shown that golfers with flow have exceeded public expectations during just about every Major. It remains to be seen what long-term effects Mickelson’s victory will have on Flow’s emergence on a mainstream level, but we here at Really Chill Dot Org could not be happier with this short-term victory.

Remember, don’t be a sellout: Let that flow continue to grow!

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BREAKING NEWS: Flowfection! Mickelson Captures Third Masters, Major Victory for Flow is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Once in a while, however, the displaced Frat Guy will be summoned by colleagues Bro Montana and Bro Namath to make a bro-trip to their alma mater. The purpose of the journey is quite simple: get weird, kill it and DALOW(do a lot of work). Below, you’ll find some tips on how to DALOW as a sketchy, too-old for college, what-is-this-guy-doing-back-here-again alumni visitor.

• Timing: If you’re not one of the lucky ones to have a company that recruits new hires at your alma mater, your return visits to school are limited and unfortunately, debacherous nights can’t be expensed to your sweet I-bank. Therefore, you want to make sure you get the most out of a short weekend back. If the trip is in the fall, hit up homecoming. Spring: make sure pledges are around.

• Housing: Unless you’re a fan of sleeping on couches, every bro has to fend for themselves. One strategy is to find any friends you have left at school that know athletes who are on roadtrips so you can take over their rooms. Otherwise, you better be ready to DALOW.

• Eating: only the worst establishments will do. Only those that you frequented for lack of better options and that allowed you and your crew to bring 30 racks and subsequently destroy the place.

• Drinking: everyone has their favorite bar. Don’t waste your time anywhere else.

• Getting weird: whether it’s giving blacked-out piggy back rides to girls, tripping and causing a girl to chip her front teeth … or taking a wine-tour and getting “asked to leave” because members of your party are puking on the premises … or returning to your old rented house/apartment, which is now full of small Asian girls, and sitting down, opening a beer, and yelling “I NEED THIS” as they call the police … getting weird is essential to a successful return trip. While normally your course of actions would result in a “reputation” on campus, you won’t be around long enough for these types of things to catch up to you.

• Fratting: Just because you’re an alumni doesn’t mean you can’t utilize pledges for anything and everything. Additionally, paying visits to old hazing grounds, and giving current brothers ideas for new hazing which you thought up while grinding out Excel projects at work are all necessary. Attending fraternity functions is also key to getting weird and finding an eventual bed. Below, you’ll find an actual, post-bro-trip correspondence from an alumni-all star to his pledge brothers:

Guys: so, After waking up in the [frat] house Sunday morning covered in blood, and getting a ride back towards you guys from the chef’s wife, I did a little research to find out what the hell happened to me at the party.

According to Dave [one current frat bro]:

‘you were stumbling everywhere- smashing your head and body into walls. you made yourself throw up in the 2nd floor bathroom (which you subsequently flooded, and now the hallway is soaked). your nose started bleeding which is why your shirt is ruined. i brought you to the deck room and thats where you slept. i had a pledge check on you every 10 min to make sure you were alive. basically you were throwing yourself all over the place, and face planted on the dance floor. everyone saw you, even the pledges. they were like..’wow these alums are so fratty and don’t give a shit about anything.’ they loved it.’”

Notice the consistent themes: getting weird, getting really fratty, having no regard for your own health or others’ sanity as you spew all sorts of bodily fluids on them.

Have a good post-college return visit? Drop us a line in the comments.

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College: The Return Trip is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Thanks brobibile.com

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Hands down the frattiest video of the year: Ultimate Lax Bro II: “The Official Visit” is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Make sure you watch this one till the end

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The fratty version of Super Mario you never played is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

“Fratty.” It’s a word that is slowly creeping into the everyday American vernacular. According to the Really Chill Lexicon (RCL) Volume III, the word is defined as “a state of being where you put a fraternal lifestyle above anything else.” The word has bound a generic 18-34 year old male – who was formely in a fraternal organization at one point in his life – to a lifelong set of traditions and virtues. There are whole websites (frattinghard.com, brobible.com, and broslikethissite.com) dedicated to fratting at all times.

Sweet

And yet, these definitions could not be further from the truth. Frattiness has no gender and certainly no age limit. In fact, there’s a little secret that you, the casual reader, might not be aware of: you didn’t have to be in a fraternity to be fratty (although it does help if you at least hazed at one point in your life, preferable in a sketchy basement… involving A lot of ice… and cold water….and maybe some Tabasco sauce. But I digress).

How will I know if I reach the “fratty” lifestyle?

First, one must realize that fratting hard isn’t a lifestyle, its an art form. It’s the internal mindset of an individual which allows him/her to – for lack of a better term – “not give a shit about what most people think.”

Fratting really hard

Being really fratty is the latin equivalent to being Really Chill. Furthermore, you don’t just wake up one day and become fratty. The lifestyle known as Fratting must originate in a family trait that has been passed down for many generations.

After mapping the human genome, scientists have attributed frattiness to the gene IL-10 (Interlukin 10) which is known to display “potent abilities to suppress the antigen presentation capacity of antigen presenting cells.”

Interleukin 10, Otherwise known as the "Frat Gene"

We, frat stars, refer to the intricate science as Frattiness Selection. It’s nature over nurture but like the American Dream, there are exceptions to every rule. Here are the fundamental tenants of being fratty and can help you reach extreme levels of fratting, even if nature hasn’t been so kind:

1. Be an Athlete.
   • This is not confined strictly to the realm of athletics. Being an athlete is a mindset. If you can’t play – you coach. If you can’t coach, you watch. Its that simple.
   • Being a part of athletics teaches you how to pick yourself up after being knocked down. (And yes, joining a fraternal organization will break you if you haven’t heard.)
   • Also included: Playing “pong’ until the wee hours of the morning and living in the worst possible housing available.
2. Winning, at all costs.
   • Being fratty means you are never wrong, EVER. Even when you are wrong, you’re still RIGHT.
   • If it means taking trips across the country, you do so in the most brazen yet frugal way possible – through The South.
   • Being Fratty as defined in the RCL as a “passion to win (Wynn) at all costs.”
3. To give is to recieve.
   • Every great scholar of fraternal organizations understands this basic premise: You got to where you are because of the people who came before you. As you make your way through pledging realize this:
     1. Next year, you get to be on the giving end and -
     2. you had to receive the blessing before you give it (Yes I just implied that any form of hazing is, in fact, a blessing).
   • As discussed in the first tenant of being an athlete, know that what doesn’t kill will, in fact, make you stronger (it’s science, don’t argue with science you’ll never win).

How can I join this brotherhood of men? (by men we mean the human race, remember being fratty is gender neutral)

This is honestly a great question. If you are reading this and realize you have missed out on one of the greatest God-given experiences on this Earth then fear not, for you can make some simple changes to the way you conduct yourself in order to be more “Fratty.”

Gleeful, Fraternity brothers

1. Drinking
   • Just do it and don’t stop. I’ve seen sweet bro’s drink during finals, or better yet drinking in the office just to let everyone else know how chill they really are.
   • Also remember, whenever you are presented with an option of beers, ALWAYS take the shittier option (and don’t be last ordering – you don’t want to know why, so don’t ask).
   • Whenever possible, inconvenience neighbors, family members, and loved ones with the boisterous noise of fratneral living (remember drinking doesn’t count unless everyone else knows you are drinking more than they are).
2. Socializing
   • It goes with out saying (and is usually the most envied part of being in a fraternal organization) that being fratty requires socializing at all times. Don’t wait to be called on – volunteer (again, don’t ask why) and NEVER be last.
   • Talk about frat parties & mixers at all times. “Yeah, this one time at a mixer with…” Let them know what really went down.
3. Drinking and Socializing – Otherwise known as “Winning”
   • Something beautiful things happens anytime you mix socializing and drinking in the same place.
   • The ancient greeks called it “gewinnen” which is greek for “Winning” and you can indulge as well
   • Think:
     • Drinking Games
     • Theme Parties
     • Sketchy Afterhours

Does fratting have its limits?

NO, and don’t make me have to remind you.

In many cases, I’ve seen women fratting harder then men. Fratting inside, fratting outside, literally fratting everywhere. Whenever you feel like you are the center of attention, this is your time to shine (preferably using one of the various drinking techniques which we will delve into later  - see the “mailman“).

Remember that you can’t spell “really chill” without “fraternity.” If you start correcting that sentence then you are one of “those guys” who just DON’T get it. More on them later

With love,
Frat Guy

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#2 – Fratting Hard is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Now, since I came out of the womb with a copy of S.I. and thirty rack of Keystone Ice, each Saturday I spend the entire day watching college football, like any well-groomed frat guy. But rather than going to a bar, I prefer to remain exclusive and watch every game alone in my room, with no human contact. In my solitude, I’ve noticed that Notre Dame sucks — like, really badly. Not because they hired an ex-NFL coach with no college experience, not because they dont accept thugged-out junior college transfers onto the team, and not because they play in South Bend (aka bumble-f*** Indiana). Rather, Notre Dame is a terrible football school because of the non-exclusivity that surrounds their quarterback, team and girls.

Exhibit A

Mark Sanchez doing work at USC

The pictures illustrate a direct, scientifically-proven correlation -proven by espn.com and other credible sources – between the quantity of smoking hot girls at a school and that school’s success in division 1 NCAA football. Do a simple google image search of “Florida gators girls” or Texas, Georgia, or USC and you’ll see what I mean.

Exhibit B

Tim Tebow and the talent at Florida

Girls resembling Exhibit A and B above pop up. For ND…non-exclusive girls like the ones you see pictured below appear.

College recruiting takes a simple path: during senior year in high school, a college coach offers a star athlete a starting role, a storied program, and possible NFL success. During his campus visit, the current players take him out with the cheerleaders, and other specimens, to get a “taste” of what he’ll be dealing with. Imagine being a recruit looking at Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen, the “star” player, taking pictures with these two…

Exhibit C

Clausen and the women of Notre Dame

Clausen’s first mistake is that he allowed himself to be photographed in the first place. To stay exclusive, I either hire a photographer to follow me around all night, or I dictate who will be lucky enough to be photographed with me. Clausen clearly wasn’t being exclusive by allowing commoners to enter the frame. At least use your linemen to screen potentials for you.

When the “leader” of the team refuses to be exclusive, the team follows suit. Once this vicious cycle establishes itself, things like a townie sucker punching you in a bar happen. Then you go .500 for the season. Then your coach is fired. But worst of all, you come to think it’s ok to wear a dog tag with your jersey number on it.

Colt McCoy and Texas work

The exclusive bird catches the worm. The non-exclusive bird catches a right hook to the eye.

-Frat guy

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The downfall of Notre Dame explained is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

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