You're Like Really Chill » mr stereotype

Why America hates wall street: Bert the Broker

mr stereotype — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:43:18 +0000

brobible does it again

big thanks to @iamsoexclusive for this submission

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Why America hates wall street: Bert the Broker is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

The world’s most talented man (and really chill)

mr stereotype — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:50:50 +0000

Just watch and be amazed.

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The world’s most talented man (and really chill) is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

#5 – The Only Way To Survive The First Year On Wall Street – CNBC “Money Honeys”

mr stereotype — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:30:07 +0000

Let’s face it. If we’re going to stereotype where the vast majority of motivated, educated, young finance majors are working after graduation these days, it’s on Wall Street. Mr Stereotype is no different. I attended your generic top 15 school, graduated, and went on to work at the generic bulge-bracket investment bank so I could KILL it on the weekends and be hated by 98% of the American public on weekdays. I’ll save my interning experiences for another post, but after a fruitful junior year summer, I was lucky enough to receive an offer to work full-time in the fairytale land of financial services.

Fast forward a few years and I’m sitting on a trading floor with dozens of other miserable people, selling products most people don’t understand to people who don’t understand them so that my government-assisted company can make some cash, pay back TARP, and give Joe The Plumber a mortgage for his suburban Cleveland home. Throughout my ten, eleven, or twelve-hour days sitting in front of computer monitors, separated from the people to my left and right by a few feet, no walls, and no cubicles, there is one constant occurrence: the flat screen TVs sprinkled throughout the trading floor streaming CNBC…all…day…long. The only time I’ve seen the channel changed is for high-speed police chases, or Bubble Boy, for which all of Wall Street will pause.

Now, no one usually listens to CNBC because the stories they’re breaking or the news they’re reporting has already hit the trading floor a few minutes earlier. Most people, like me, Mr Stereotype, just leave the volume on mute and pause from time to time to look at the Money Honeys…or rather, the decently attractive women that CNBC puts on the desk to maintain viewers’ attention and keep companies paying for ad spots.

Any person who’s worked in finance will tell you that the trading floor is dominated by men. It’s about a 4:1 ratio. Take that small percentage of women working on the floor and only about 1 in 10 is a looker. So unlike guys working in fashion, marketing, public relations, or any job that doesnt require math expertise, those of us in finance are left with CNBC anchors as our eye candy (sorry women, it’s not stereotyping if it’s true, check those male/female SAT averages).

But some of them aren’t that bad…

A stereotypical finance guy secretly wishes that one, two, or all of the Money Honeys will pose for Playboy or Penthouse to bring in some extra cash during the Financial Crisis. And really, there’s no shame in posing for Playboy. After all, Janet Jackson did it. Nothing is more of a turn on than someone who already has a legitimate career posing naked to let everyone know that along with being successful, they also have a smoking hot body. If not Playboy, let’s at least get a guest appearance in Maxim, GQ, FHM, or something…

EDITORS NOTE: The following Money Honeys were referenced for “research purposes:” Mitali Mukherjee, Becky Quick, Erin Burnett, Melissa Francis, Trish Regan, Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, Maria Bartiromo, Melissa Lee, Karen Tso (CNBC Australia), Amanda Drury (CNBC Australia)

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#5 – The Only Way To Survive The First Year On Wall Street – CNBC “Money Honeys” is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

[BREAKING] Maino sets Tiger Woods back with new single “Get Em Tiger”

mr stereotype — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 04:33:35 +0000

In an attempt to make money off of the Tiger Woods fiasco, Maino releases a new single (via German Music site hip-hop-news.de), listen to it after the jump.

vokoder player

Just when Tiger woods thought he was in the clear, Maino comes out with a new single going after the “athlete of the decade” in his new single “Get Em Tiger.” Sometimes I wish I could make this stuff up, but these stories actually write themselves.

What do you think? Get Em Tiger? Hell Yeah

Do Work,
Mr Stereotype

[BREAKING] Maino sets Tiger Woods back with new single “Get Em Tiger” is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

[FIELD REPORT] Black Santa Claus arrested for breaking and entering his own house.

mr stereotype — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:00:37 +0000

Reporting from Jumpertown, Mississippi

Arnold Posner arrested for breaking and entering into his own house

Local Members of the NAACB (National Association for the Advancement of Colored Bro’s) have decided to drop their case against the Jumpertown, Mississippi Police Department after officials deemed the whole incident a “misunderstanding” For some, the incident is already being called a Really Chill Christmas Miracle.

Last week, members of the black community were outraged when reports surfaced that Arnold Posner, a local resident of Jumpertown, was arrested for breaking and entering into his own home. His neighbor and high school football teammate Steve Falor made this comment to the Jumpertown Minute last week:

I mean, It was really messed up but I guess I kind of understand where the cops were coming from… this is a really nice neighborhood and there aren’t a lot of Black folk around, so if he was passing by… well… you know… he was breaking and entering… delivering presents.

After news of Posner’s arrest hit the 24/7 news cycle, the officer on the scene were questioned about his motive. Sergeant Jason McCormick later admitted

After it became blatantly clear to me that he was breaking and entering into his own house, I neglected the facts because I was hoping that we would —you know — all get to share a beer with president Obama and debate racial stereotypes.

sharing beers with obama ... reaallly chill

Members of the black community rose up in opposition to this clear display of racial injustice until the NAACB released this statement

Members of the African American community: we share your feelings of utter disgust and disapproval of the unjust treatment of African Americans in their own homes. In our effect to remain objective, when the police sergeant admitted his intentions, we concluded that his cause was just. We would like to join the officer and Arnold Poser at the table when beers start flowing with the President.

After this historic event came to a sound conclusion, executives from Hollywood began discussing film rights to “Arnold Posner: A Really Chill Christmas Mircale” with Mr. Posner. The film is labeled as a short vignette on how being chill is breaking racial stereotypes and uniting a nation this holiday season.

Mr Stereotype -Out

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