Charles Barkley

25. After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: “You know why that little girl’s crying? It’s because she’s thinking ‘my daddy’s a wussy’”.

24. Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are2 going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”

23. “It’s kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith’s house.”

22. “I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.”

21. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: “Phone home.” And later he remarks to Kenny, “Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he’s not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.”

20. While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: “Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can’t just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the ‘hood.”

19. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t let many black people in the governor’s mansion in Alabama,” he said, “unless they’re cleaning.”

18. On the goal of the ’92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: “To get the Canal back.”

17. To Kenny: “Hakeem couldn’t kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!”

16. Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked “is the first NBA player from Finland”. Charles replies: “Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he’s the only person in Finland.”

15. On supersized Oliver Miller: “You can’t even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.”

14. “All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.”

13. On North Carolina missing 22 of its last 23 shots in losing to Georgetown in the NCAA tournament last weekend: “Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.”

12. I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.

11. “I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”

10. On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: “In between arrests they do community service.”

9. “Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine.

8. “Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.”

7. “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”

6. “Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I’m full.”? Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts

5. “I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.”

4. On the All-Star Game: “Hell, there ain’t but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of ‘em are right here in this room.”

3. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: “Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.”

2. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”

1. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says.

“Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.”

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Top 25 Charles Barkley Quotes is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

New Years Eve

• Comedy Stories
• A bunch of voicemails

Songs This week

• That Guy: Kinetics & One Love – Horny girl
• Mr Exclusive: Jason Mraz & Lil Wayne – I’m Yours Remix

NFL’s Undefeated season

• Mr exclusive is not happy about pulling payton out of the game
• Obama we love you

Loopt & Foursquare

• Mr Westcoast lies about how exclusive he is
• Loopt is bad if you have a girlfriend

Is that chill? New Years Eve Countdown

• Mr Exclusive: Yeahhhh, pretty chill: only if you’re doing work
• That Guy: Nahhhh, not that chill: you’re the only one not doing work

Announcements

• Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes!!! – http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=348117988
• Leave suggestions for next episodes “Is that chill?” in the comments section of this post
• Leave us a voicemail for next week’s episode, call us!  212-203-0483

MP3 File: Really Chill Cast 5 – voicemails and new years eve.mp3

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[PODCAST] Really Chill Cast 5 – Voicemail and New Years Eve is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

We know everyone had a REALLY chill New Year’s Eve, so here’s what we want to know: War Stories.

It’s not to late to leave a funny voicemail for this week, call our listener feedback line: 212-203-0483

For the Really Chill Podcast coming out shortly we are piling up the best voicemail stories of the week as well a new game we would like to call: NAME THAT GUY with That Guy

NAME THAT GUY with That Guy.

This is how it works:

• In the comment section of this post make a really chill statement about a type of guy, and try to label him correctly.
• Example: “That guy who always has to sit in the front seat – that guy”, “That guy who only drinks shitty beer – frat guy”, “that guy who only flies first class – mr exclusive”
• Tune into the podcast to see if you are right, we’re going to pick one winner in the comment section to give an iTunes gift card away to, as a prize.

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You’ve heard about them in the news and seen postings for their “services” on job boards. “Social Media Experts” – individuals who claim to have mastered Twitter/ Facbeook and can “help you do the same” – are destroying the industry they helped create. Their hardship and anxiety has been a source of pain for the American public.

We here at Really Chill decided to find out exactly what makes an individual a “Social Media Guru:”

Yeah it’s really simple actually,

said Steve, a self proclaimed That Guy (TG).

I just go online, look at the trending topics on Twitter, and play along with the racially-charged trending topics (#ifsantawasblack, #uknowuhood, #indaclub). Obviously,  I’m online 24/7 because that’s what makes an expert these days, right? That’s pretty much it, I mean I practically came out of the womb with a keyboard and Mac so I guess I’m a natural.

When asked about dropping “links” on friends and followers, a rigid tactic followed by all Social Media Gurus, Steve said,

I mean, how hard is it to alienate all of your friends with links they don’t even care about on Facebook and Twitter?

What was once a seemingly innocent tactic used to promote meaningless brands has taken its toll on self-proclaimed social media gurus.

We’re seeing a tremendous increase in anxiety and depression among this group,

said Dr. James McDonald, a clinical researcher from the University of Southern California.

Yeah I don’t get it,

said “Ron,” a Really Chill Bro (RCB) who declined to give his last name,

I mean, when I started out as a social media expert, Facebook only had like the cool people in college. Everyone loved it and since I was one of the first adopters, by extension they loved me too. As soon as Twitter and Facebook took off and I put Social Media Expert on my profile, people stopped talking to me… but that’s because I’m an expert, right?

We’ve see this all too often; loved ones becoming engulfed by the last year’s internet trend, “social media.” The toll it’s taken on families and relationships can’t be quantified, but cases of depression due to social media isolation has reached all time highs.

Word has reached the Obama Administration, which declined to comment but pointed us to one of their 209,452,023 websites dedicated to openness and transparency in the social media industry: socialmediadouchebag.gov.

If you or someone you know is suffering from social media depression, please check out the site for tips and advice. Remember, there is a cure for Social Media douchebaggery.

The cartoon originally appeared on Hubspot.

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In conflicting reports, some tech enthusiasts are calling Apple’s iSlate Steve Job’s swan song. Other pundits in the industry are proclaiming that the fabled tablet device doesn’t exist. Reuters claims Apple is holding its own exclusive event after the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) to unveil the new iSlate to the world.

We here at reallychill.org sent one of our reporters into the field and he came up with the following sound conclusion about the viability of an Apple iSlate.

Phillip Raymore
Reporting from The Apple Store
767 5th Ave,
New York, NY

The quest for the truth about the rumored iSlate device took us to what many people consider the astronomical center of the universe – New York City – where we interviewed former Apple Executive David Cadwell:

If you look at past Apple device launches, our history speaks volumes. At Apple, we have a tendency to deny all rumors until we reveal the final product. I kid you not, sometimes things are so exclusive at this place, we don’t even know for ourselves what we are working on.

My conversation with Caldwell was mind-boggling. I thought I was the only one on Earth to feel this level of exclusivity but apparently at Apple, management actually encourages engineers to work on products they don’t even know about. #THATSexcl. Like any accredited journalist, I verified David’s claims of Apple’s continuous denials of new products, most recently the denial of the iPhone’s existence (via techspot).

Taking David at his word, I concluded that talking to people at the top would get me nowhere. I decided to enter the flagship Apple store in Midtown Manhattan to find out what employees on the ground thought about the rumored Apple Tablet. I caught up with Lilly (who refrained from releasing her last name out of fear of losing her job):

I mean, an Apple tablet certainly is possible. I know I’m supposed to play up the facade that “I’m an Apple Genius” but to tell you the truth, sometimes people bring in devices that I didn’t even know we made.

While her claims were enlightening, the prevalence of skinny jeans, thick framed glasses and hipster fedora’s were too much to handle so we decided to cut the interview short.

We all saw what happened when the Crunchpad suddenly became JooJoo (via Engadget), the Time Inc Tablet concept (via TechCrunch) and Microsoft Courier leaked (via Gizmodo).  To say that Apple isn’t working in this space would be extremely shortsighted.

I made a few more calls, and actually had the pleasure of filing this report on the rumored tablet. Writing on a device that’s doesn’t even exist yet? Yeah, #thatsexcl

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