Exclusivity 101

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The Most Exclusive Places to Live in the World via NYTimes is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

During a recent trip back to their alma mater frat guy and mr west coast had two  things on their mind: getting weird and DALOW. In order to accomplish these goals, however, each man took separate paths. In the end, their journeys left each of them arguing which was the right path, or rather, which was less wrong…

Frat Guy’s Night: Instead of going out to all the college bars, I decided to go by myself (excl) down to the sketchier townie bars. Once there, my lack of a posse advertised that I was single and ready to DALOW. This aura immediately attracted attention from an older woman across the bar. She came over to me (not having to make the move? excl) and we started to chat it up. After a few drinks I found out that she works at the college I went to, is 39, and an ex-swimsuit model. It showed.

She had the eye of the cougar, and the quick analysis of her ringless finger proved she was hungry for a kill. Drinks turned to shots, 11pm turned to 1am, and before I knew it, I was walking her out the bar with my arm around her. I had only promised to “walk her to the car,” but the car proved to be den enough for this cougar. What ensued could only be described as aggressive. This woman-a decade and a half my senior-gave me a quick education in the backseat of the car on why women really are like a fine wine…

Mr West Coast’s Night: Some fellow bros and I headed to an army-themed party at the frathouse for some good old college-style partying. While drinking in one of the rooms I was introduced to two young freshman donning some serious fatigues. After talking to one from LA for a bit, I was interrupted mid-sentence when Juicy came on; “Hold on, this is my song.” Regardless of the fact she was 4 when this was released, that’s like a REALLY chill song to call “yours.”

A little more background revealed I wasn’t dealing with your typical 19 year-old Orange County girl. Juicy gave way to a sketchy closed-door dance party with multiple freshman girls and my fellow brahs (all 24, mind you). After a few shots and more drinks, the sketchiness continued on the bottom floor, where the party was going down. Conveniently, some worthless pledges had constructed some sort of “P.O.W. cage” which immediately served as grounds for freshman-year-style grinding and dancing. If there’s one thing west coast girls know how to do, it’s drop it like its hot. None of this, I grew up in an all-girls-east-coast-boarding-school-where-thinking-about-boys-was-illegal-so-i-barely-move-my-hips-type dancing. After leaving to grab another brewski I lost track of said freshman, but received a text: “ummm you’re like really chill.” She…GETS it. Unfortunately I had to leave for the bars and smaller age gaps, but her ensuing bbm game proved to be just as sharp as mine as she referred to me as “bro,” “hommie,” and “fool” all in the same convo. She really did read at a graduate level because that’s wisdom beyond her years when it comes to west coast communication… which leads me to state: if grinding with girls born after the Wall fell is wrong…I don’t want to be right.

The Verdict: by Mr Exclusive

While I’m so exclusive I only hook up with myself, I was actually chosen to moderate this debate of older vs younger, real housewives vs gossip girl, or days of our lives vs. the hills. Allow us to take examples from Hollywood-a place with all the answers. Example A: Hollywood Cradle Robbers:

Some people might “frown” upon anyone out of college having any sort of contact with underclassmen.  Lets look at Livestrong and Michelle (I didn’t bother learning the twin’s name because having someone look exactly like you isn’t excl). When she was 19, he was 34. Should we continue? When Catherine Zeta-Jones was 19, M. Douglas was 44, and when Anna Nicole was 19, J Howard Marshall was 84 (and probably dead). Now these were some of America’s “sweethearts,” and America didn’t have a problem with those cradle robbers.  But agreeing with America and Hollywood isn’t always excl. Lets look at Frat Guy’s scenario.

Example B: Hollywood Cougar Hunters

Most any guy will tell you Ashton’s a legend. Bruce got too old and bald, so the young gun who’s never really accomplished anything in Hollywood took over Demi, and eventually the family: thatsexcl. Ashton? HKI. He’s so excl now, he doesn’t even appear on his own show. Now sure Demi’s been around the block a few times, but therein lies the advantage: a cougar can identify young guys who are killing it and this makes them go in for their own kill. Clearly Frat Guy’s cougar could tell HKI, but did Mr West Coast’s young G.I. Jane have any idea? Frat Guy leveraged a voracious appetite, like Ashton did, and started killing it to the nth degree. But will Ashton and Demi end up looking like this (40 and 61)?

or this (41 and 54)?

Crows feet, Lifetime Original Movies, and Menopause? Too big a risk to run. Frat Guy…you DALOW but I’m going to have to side with the bro.

Related Posts:

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• Katie Couric gets down… like REALLY DOWN [cougarwatch]
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• The greatest/sketchiest site known to man – CougarLife

Age is Just a Number is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

This week we bring you a new phrase: #2 DALOW

DALOW: acronym for: Do A Lot Of Work. Origin: Greek. Verb. To accomplish more than what is normal or expected with the opposite sex. (*Note “work” does not refer to one’s profession, unless one’s profession is “killing it.”)

Variations: Did a lot of work, doing a lot of work.

Used in a context:

1. “Shawn, where are you?” “I’m at some stupid art gallery opening but there’s a ton of hot girls and all the guys are hipsters, so I’ve already got five numbers, and made out with some girl in the bathroom. I’m DALOW.”

2. “Yo did you do work last night” “Nahh…couldn’t DALOW. Shit got waay too weird at the bar.”

Related Posts:

• College: The Return Trip
• Age is Just a Number
• REALLY EXCLUSIVE: Rc.org’s “Really Chill Phrase of the Week”-3/18/10
• Exclusivity? There’s an app for that [guide]
• Life lesson learned on Thanksgiving: I will play football and be in a fraternity. I’m killing it.

REALLY EXCLUSIVE: Rc.org’s “Really Chill Phrase of the Week”-3/17/10 is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Obviously, an essential part of being REALLY chill is having your own terminology that, well, you and maybe a handful of people understand. For that reason, we decided to introduce a couple of key expressions that must be part of your vernacular if you want to be exponentially chiller than you currently are.

#1. YKI. (“Why Kay Eye”) Acronym for: “You’re killing it.” Verb. Origin: Greek.

The act of “killing” or “murdering it” in any situation, regardless of external factors such as country, weather, or social setting; winning at all costs, doing something legendary. Used in a sentence: “Jonny-I heard you got a table at 1Oak last night then took the bottle waitresses on your G6 to LA where you went to a party at the playboy mansion…YKI.”

Alternate uses: HKI-hes killing it, SKI-shes killing it. IKI-im killing it, I killed it, I’ll kill it, I’ve killed it. NKI – Not killing it.

Close synonyms: YMI: “You murdered/murked it.”

For the chillest of chill…“KMM” – “Kill Murder Murk” Used in a sentence: “I drank so much at that bar, got 10 girls numbers, lost my phone, and got thrown out of  own apartment complex. I KMM’d the night.”

Related Posts:

• College: The Return Trip
• REALLY EXCLUSIVE: Rc.org’s “Really Chill Phrase of the Week”-3/17/10
• Exclusivity? There’s an app for that [guide]
• Life lesson learned on Thanksgiving: I will play football and be in a fraternity. I’m killing it.

REALLY EXCLUSIVE: Rc.org’s “Really Chill Phrase of the Week”-3/18/10 is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

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MP3 File: A New Year Message From Mr Exclusive

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A Special New Year’s Message from Mr Exclusive [PODCAST] is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

What is exclusivity?

Exclusivity as we know it is the phenomenon started by the ancestors of Mr Exclusive. It predated the Mesopotamic period and flourished in the land between the two rivers where Ancient Civilization began: the Tigris and the Euphrates. As Wikipedia states, this region is  a place that is “widely considered as the cradle of civilization.”

Deep within the Akkadian Empire (ca. 2350 BCE–2193 BCE), young Naram-Sin, the emperor’s grandson and one of the forerunners of the Exclusivity Movement, began to crave out his own place in history. According to scripture, he was the first person in human history to consciously elect to do something by himself. #ThatsEXCL

Young Naram Sim spreading "Exclusivity" to all

People have trouble understanding that anything involving an invitation is inherently not exclusive. In fact, the act of not allowing other people to bask in your exclusivity is key to maximizing exclusivity. Every time you receive an invite from a promoter promoting a club so exclusive he himself cannot get in, just remember one thing: by rejecting his or her request, you are cementing yourself in the rich history of all beings who chose to take the exclusive path.

How can one be exclusive?

Great question. I wish I could just say, follow me for a day (Mr Exclusive) and you would get enough material to last a lifetime, but the act of being anywhere near me would diminish  my own exclusivity. Therefore, follow these simple rules and the extensive research available on reallychill.org for more insight:

1. Less is always more
2. Saying “No” is the new “Yes”
3. Winning by losing is the only way to win

Over the course of this journey of All Things Chill (ATC), we will delve into these topic with great detail.

When is it appropriate to be exclusive?

As the finally installment of my introduction, I thought it would only be appropriate to address this topic.

The answer is simple: All the time.

If someone asks you, “When can I expect your call?” Simply reply “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.” If you’ve entered the level of Like Really Exclusive, (LRE), it may be okay to say something like, “that’s physically impossible because I have three phones and none of them take outside calls.” Fear not, for all this will become easier the more you read.

Just remember, one of the tenants of being really chill is your level of exclusivity.

With Love,
Mr Exclusive

Related Posts:

• A Special New Year’s Message from Mr Exclusive [PODCAST]
• [PODCAST] Really Chill Cast 2 – Blackberry, Obama vs Bush, Gym, Is that Chill?
• Really Chill Cast 1 [podcast]

#1 – Exclusivity is a post from: You're Like Really Chill