In a major statement Sunday afternoon in pristine Augusta, Georgia, Phil Mickelson not only won a major victory for good, family guys everywhere but he also proved that Flow can capture championships.

Sporting his signature KPMG black hat, Mickelson’s flow was in full effect throughout the tournament, a major factor that experts have attributed to his fine play. In fact, a Harvard Sociology study has shown that golfers with flow have exceeded public expectations during just about every Major. It remains to be seen what long-term effects Mickelson’s victory will have on Flow’s emergence on a mainstream level, but we here at Really Chill Dot Org could not be happier with this short-term victory.

Remember, don’t be a sellout: Let that flow continue to grow!

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BREAKING NEWS: Flowfection! Mickelson Captures Third Masters, Major Victory for Flow is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Once in a while, however, the displaced Frat Guy will be summoned by colleagues Bro Montana and Bro Namath to make a bro-trip to their alma mater. The purpose of the journey is quite simple: get weird, kill it and DALOW(do a lot of work). Below, you’ll find some tips on how to DALOW as a sketchy, too-old for college, what-is-this-guy-doing-back-here-again alumni visitor.

• Timing: If you’re not one of the lucky ones to have a company that recruits new hires at your alma mater, your return visits to school are limited and unfortunately, debacherous nights can’t be expensed to your sweet I-bank. Therefore, you want to make sure you get the most out of a short weekend back. If the trip is in the fall, hit up homecoming. Spring: make sure pledges are around.

• Housing: Unless you’re a fan of sleeping on couches, every bro has to fend for themselves. One strategy is to find any friends you have left at school that know athletes who are on roadtrips so you can take over their rooms. Otherwise, you better be ready to DALOW.

• Eating: only the worst establishments will do. Only those that you frequented for lack of better options and that allowed you and your crew to bring 30 racks and subsequently destroy the place.

• Drinking: everyone has their favorite bar. Don’t waste your time anywhere else.

• Getting weird: whether it’s giving blacked-out piggy back rides to girls, tripping and causing a girl to chip her front teeth … or taking a wine-tour and getting “asked to leave” because members of your party are puking on the premises … or returning to your old rented house/apartment, which is now full of small Asian girls, and sitting down, opening a beer, and yelling “I NEED THIS” as they call the police … getting weird is essential to a successful return trip. While normally your course of actions would result in a “reputation” on campus, you won’t be around long enough for these types of things to catch up to you.

• Fratting: Just because you’re an alumni doesn’t mean you can’t utilize pledges for anything and everything. Additionally, paying visits to old hazing grounds, and giving current brothers ideas for new hazing which you thought up while grinding out Excel projects at work are all necessary. Attending fraternity functions is also key to getting weird and finding an eventual bed. Below, you’ll find an actual, post-bro-trip correspondence from an alumni-all star to his pledge brothers:

Guys: so, After waking up in the [frat] house Sunday morning covered in blood, and getting a ride back towards you guys from the chef’s wife, I did a little research to find out what the hell happened to me at the party.

According to Dave [one current frat bro]:

‘you were stumbling everywhere- smashing your head and body into walls. you made yourself throw up in the 2nd floor bathroom (which you subsequently flooded, and now the hallway is soaked). your nose started bleeding which is why your shirt is ruined. i brought you to the deck room and thats where you slept. i had a pledge check on you every 10 min to make sure you were alive. basically you were throwing yourself all over the place, and face planted on the dance floor. everyone saw you, even the pledges. they were like..’wow these alums are so fratty and don’t give a shit about anything.’ they loved it.’”

Notice the consistent themes: getting weird, getting really fratty, having no regard for your own health or others’ sanity as you spew all sorts of bodily fluids on them.

Have a good post-college return visit? Drop us a line in the comments.

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College: The Return Trip is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

This week we bring you a new phrase: #2 DALOW

DALOW: acronym for: Do A Lot Of Work. Origin: Greek. Verb. To accomplish more than what is normal or expected with the opposite sex. (*Note “work” does not refer to one’s profession, unless one’s profession is “killing it.”)

Variations: Did a lot of work, doing a lot of work.

Used in a context:

1. “Shawn, where are you?” “I’m at some stupid art gallery opening but there’s a ton of hot girls and all the guys are hipsters, so I’ve already got five numbers, and made out with some girl in the bathroom. I’m DALOW.”

2. “Yo did you do work last night” “Nahh…couldn’t DALOW. Shit got waay too weird at the bar.”

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REALLY EXCLUSIVE: Rc.org’s “Really Chill Phrase of the Week”-3/17/10 is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

Charles Barkley

25. After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: “You know why that little girl’s crying? It’s because she’s thinking ‘my daddy’s a wussy’”.

24. Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are2 going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”

23. “It’s kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith’s house.”

22. “I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.”

21. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: “Phone home.” And later he remarks to Kenny, “Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he’s not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.”

20. While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: “Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can’t just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the ‘hood.”

19. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t let many black people in the governor’s mansion in Alabama,” he said, “unless they’re cleaning.”

18. On the goal of the ’92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: “To get the Canal back.”

17. To Kenny: “Hakeem couldn’t kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!”

16. Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked “is the first NBA player from Finland”. Charles replies: “Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he’s the only person in Finland.”

15. On supersized Oliver Miller: “You can’t even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.”

14. “All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.”

13. On North Carolina missing 22 of its last 23 shots in losing to Georgetown in the NCAA tournament last weekend: “Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.”

12. I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.

11. “I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”

10. On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: “In between arrests they do community service.”

9. “Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine.

8. “Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.”

7. “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”

6. “Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I’m full.”? Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts

5. “I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.”

4. On the All-Star Game: “Hell, there ain’t but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of ‘em are right here in this room.”

3. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: “Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.”

2. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”

1. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says.

“Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.”

submitted via email, thanks!

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Thanks brobibile.com

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Hands down the frattiest video of the year: Ultimate Lax Bro II: “The Official Visit” is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

After taking the crown for last decade’s Really Chill Athlete of the decade, Ocho Cinco proves you can teach an old dog new tricks. According to his own twitter feed @ogochocinco, chad states: “Everybody go on you tube and check out my smash single (chad ocho cinco “girl you trippin”) retweet so i go platinum”.

Here’s the new song preformed live (thanks youtube)

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“Fratty.” It’s a word that is slowly creeping into the everyday American vernacular. According to the Really Chill Lexicon (RCL) Volume III, the word is defined as “a state of being where you put a fraternal lifestyle above anything else.” The word has bound a generic 18-34 year old male – who was formely in a fraternal organization at one point in his life – to a lifelong set of traditions and virtues. There are whole websites (frattinghard.com, brobible.com, and broslikethissite.com) dedicated to fratting at all times.

Sweet

And yet, these definitions could not be further from the truth. Frattiness has no gender and certainly no age limit. In fact, there’s a little secret that you, the casual reader, might not be aware of: you didn’t have to be in a fraternity to be fratty (although it does help if you at least hazed at one point in your life, preferable in a sketchy basement… involving A lot of ice… and cold water….and maybe some Tabasco sauce. But I digress).

How will I know if I reach the “fratty” lifestyle?

First, one must realize that fratting hard isn’t a lifestyle, its an art form. It’s the internal mindset of an individual which allows him/her to – for lack of a better term – “not give a shit about what most people think.”

Fratting really hard

Being really fratty is the latin equivalent to being Really Chill. Furthermore, you don’t just wake up one day and become fratty. The lifestyle known as Fratting must originate in a family trait that has been passed down for many generations.

After mapping the human genome, scientists have attributed frattiness to the gene IL-10 (Interlukin 10) which is known to display “potent abilities to suppress the antigen presentation capacity of antigen presenting cells.”

Interleukin 10, Otherwise known as the "Frat Gene"

We, frat stars, refer to the intricate science as Frattiness Selection. It’s nature over nurture but like the American Dream, there are exceptions to every rule. Here are the fundamental tenants of being fratty and can help you reach extreme levels of fratting, even if nature hasn’t been so kind:

1. Be an Athlete.
   • This is not confined strictly to the realm of athletics. Being an athlete is a mindset. If you can’t play – you coach. If you can’t coach, you watch. Its that simple.
   • Being a part of athletics teaches you how to pick yourself up after being knocked down. (And yes, joining a fraternal organization will break you if you haven’t heard.)
   • Also included: Playing “pong’ until the wee hours of the morning and living in the worst possible housing available.
2. Winning, at all costs.
   • Being fratty means you are never wrong, EVER. Even when you are wrong, you’re still RIGHT.
   • If it means taking trips across the country, you do so in the most brazen yet frugal way possible – through The South.
   • Being Fratty as defined in the RCL as a “passion to win (Wynn) at all costs.”
3. To give is to recieve.
   • Every great scholar of fraternal organizations understands this basic premise: You got to where you are because of the people who came before you. As you make your way through pledging realize this:
     1. Next year, you get to be on the giving end and -
     2. you had to receive the blessing before you give it (Yes I just implied that any form of hazing is, in fact, a blessing).
   • As discussed in the first tenant of being an athlete, know that what doesn’t kill will, in fact, make you stronger (it’s science, don’t argue with science you’ll never win).

How can I join this brotherhood of men? (by men we mean the human race, remember being fratty is gender neutral)

This is honestly a great question. If you are reading this and realize you have missed out on one of the greatest God-given experiences on this Earth then fear not, for you can make some simple changes to the way you conduct yourself in order to be more “Fratty.”

Gleeful, Fraternity brothers

1. Drinking
   • Just do it and don’t stop. I’ve seen sweet bro’s drink during finals, or better yet drinking in the office just to let everyone else know how chill they really are.
   • Also remember, whenever you are presented with an option of beers, ALWAYS take the shittier option (and don’t be last ordering – you don’t want to know why, so don’t ask).
   • Whenever possible, inconvenience neighbors, family members, and loved ones with the boisterous noise of fratneral living (remember drinking doesn’t count unless everyone else knows you are drinking more than they are).
2. Socializing
   • It goes with out saying (and is usually the most envied part of being in a fraternal organization) that being fratty requires socializing at all times. Don’t wait to be called on – volunteer (again, don’t ask why) and NEVER be last.
   • Talk about frat parties & mixers at all times. “Yeah, this one time at a mixer with…” Let them know what really went down.
3. Drinking and Socializing – Otherwise known as “Winning”
   • Something beautiful things happens anytime you mix socializing and drinking in the same place.
   • The ancient greeks called it “gewinnen” which is greek for “Winning” and you can indulge as well
   • Think:
     • Drinking Games
     • Theme Parties
     • Sketchy Afterhours

Does fratting have its limits?

NO, and don’t make me have to remind you.

In many cases, I’ve seen women fratting harder then men. Fratting inside, fratting outside, literally fratting everywhere. Whenever you feel like you are the center of attention, this is your time to shine (preferably using one of the various drinking techniques which we will delve into later  - see the “mailman“).

Remember that you can’t spell “really chill” without “fraternity.” If you start correcting that sentence then you are one of “those guys” who just DON’T get it. More on them later

With love,
Frat Guy

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#2 – Fratting Hard is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

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[PODCAST] Really Chill Cast 2 – Blackberry, Obama vs Bush, Gym, Is that Chill? is a post from: You're Like Really Chill

This sad story actual stems from Tiger’s childhood, when Tiger’s parents neglected to teach him the balance between killing it on the golf course and crushing it in the frat house.

Say what you will about a typical frat boy, but know this: we do work … yeah, like, a lot of work. Of course, that comes with a price: you have to learn how to never leave a paper trail that will lead back to your questionable past.

Like every normal kid, college students are busy developing the necessary tools to become worse people than when they matriculated (read: playing lax and pledging ). If Tiger had added a crucial bit bit of frattiness to his well-rounded Stanford education, he may have learned firsthand some very important rules:

1. never EVER cheat on the wife of your children… EVER
   • You may be confused by this statement, since typical fratty behaviors encourages “relations” with as many women as possible. HOWEVER said rule applies only before having children. This isn’t out of any moral or virtuous reason, but simply because the only reason you have kids are to breed super athletes, and you can’t distract Junior from exceling at athletics if he’s distracted with problems at home. Come on Tiger, this is rookie mistake numero uno.
2. Dont get MARRIED until you’ve gotten the frat out of your system
   • Again, if you are unclear as to why frat boys would promote family values, it’s because (although we never will admit it) we want to be those legendary dads with the huge familes, great kids, and chair in front of the TV. The only way this can be achieved is if you have enough out of control wild stories during your early-to-mid twenties to talk about for the rest of your life.
   • Alternatively, if you can convince your wife that “having relations with other people doesn’t matter if you don’t have any feeling for them,” then you’re golden. Frat on young frat star… frat on…
3. Take precautions
   • Every frat boy has a story about hooking up with two people that are best friends, or multiple girls in the same sorority. The details differ but the result is always the same: trouble.
   • 1 – While tiger was too busy hitting balls all day in Palo Alto, he never learned how to lie his way out of a situations. For starters, the guy is a billionaire. If he can’t keep it in his pants, he has enough money to build two personalities for himself, with two separate phone numbers. One for sketching and the other for “killing it” in the “real world.”

So there you have it. The next time you think about insulting fratty behaviour, just know that you are ruining a process that breeds the next great leaders of the free world.

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Tiger Woods would have never been caught if he were in a Top [frat]House is a post from: You're Like Really Chill