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Loading ...Yep, you knew it was coming… we had to touch on this, because it’s getting out of control. Verizon and AT&T are going tit for tat over who has more 3G coverage, which network is bigger, what phone can run more apps – iPhone vs Droid – etc. Let me put this issue to bed right now.
The exclusive guide to technology and smart phones
Best Option: Not having a phone
The writing is on the wall. There’s no better proverbial f-you than when someone asks you, “Hey! what’s your number?” and being able to definitely say… “yeah… about that number… don’t have one, sorry.” The sheer look and expression of utter bewilderment that in the new digital millennium, you would actually choose to not participate with the rest of modern society (that’s exclusive).
The only thing more exclusive than not owning a phone, is not knowing the number to your own phone. Not because you are stupid, just because you never give it out #thatsexcl.
Imagine this, you’re at an interview, the interviewer is reviewing your resume, they ask the simple question? “hey, so your resume looks great! We’re going to definitely follow up with you on this, I noticed you didn’t leave any contact information… how would you like us to get in contact you?”
AH HA! You’ve got them exactly where you want them, this is it, this is the moment you know you are the most exclusive person in the room, the office, possible the entire world. You answer: “yeah… about contacting me… don’t worry about, i’ll contact you.” When you can convincingly walk out of a room and say that, that’s when you know, you’re like REALLY chill.
Next Best Option: Having Multiple phones
Personally, this is the option I choose. I have 3 phones
Phone #1 – this is the number everyone knows about (not exclusive). I usually don’t pick it up – you know, unless it’s receiving a call from one of my two other phones. Yes, you read this correctly, I actually have another phone that’s so exclusive it only calls my other phone. #thatsexcl.
Phone #2 – This phone is only used to call phone #1. I use this to call myself to remind me how exclusive I am.
Phone #3 – this is the phone I make outgoing calls from. I have a phone for the sole purpose of calling other phones but the number remains private so that no one will ever be able to call me back. The only two numbers stored in the contact book are phone #1 and phone #2.
So remember kids, the next time someone asks your opinion on a smart phone, and you wish to exhibit maximum exclusivity, you can definitively say:
“I really don’t know and I really don’t care. If you’re looking for a phone, I can’t help you because I don’t have one (you can say this even if you do have one). In fact, there’s an app for not having a phone: it’s called being exclusive.”
Mr Exclusive – late
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