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Loading ...Yeah so like… last week I probably wrote the most exclusive thing on this site: Mr Exclusive’s Exclusivity? There’s an app for that Guide book
Anyway you guys are really lucky because I’m going to give you a piece of advice I usually charge commoners for. It’s this little known technique called the CEA: The Counter Exclusivity Argument.
Counter Exclusivity Argument
The Counter Exclusivity Argument is an art form used by exclusive individuals to refute claims of non-exclusivity. For example, if someone spots you (Lord forgive) waiting in line for something, you could use CEA to state:
“It’s actually more exclusive to be seen here in line, and have everyone else behind me, see me and then talk about me. Having people talk about you? #thatsexcl”
Notice that the above statement almost always ends in a proclamation of exclusivity (when online, you can abbreviate this statement by the hash tag “#thatsexcl” short for “that’s exclusive”).
The worst thing that an exclusive individual could possibly get accused of is being non-exclusive. That’s why I’ve come up with some simple tips on our to refute those outrageous claims in certain situations.
Being in a photograph with other people
If you’ve read the IPOE guide, this situation can clearly be justified
“Yeah, so like, I’m going to be in this picture so you can put it on your facebook, and then I can de-tag it, just so people will have to ask you who I am #thatsexcl”
Answering the phone
Again here, don’t be shy about lying. Try one of the examples from the exclusivity app guide.
“Hey, yeah I’m actually on the phone with myself (you called one phone from another phone – yours) so I can’t talk to you right now. #thatexcl”
Not going out
Consciously refusing to go out in order to be by yourself is exclusive by nature. However, going out, being seen, cutting lines, spending money, etc etc, are all exclusive as well, which presents an inherent contradiction. Here’s how I handle this one. Go ahead and make plans with friends and family. Make sure you plan it carefully; pick the time, place, location, all the activities you will be doing with them. When show time comes, and you’re not there, people freak out, try to call you, desperately attempting to figure out where you are.
Here’s how you deal with this:
“Yeah… so like, I was going to meet up with you guys, but I realized how much I enjoy spending time with myself. Soooo like me… not being seen with you…. yeah… #thatsexcl”
MY FAVORITE: Ordering multiple drinks
When you get caught ordering two drinks, use this (this is RICH):
“Well I’m ordering two drinks so that I can drink one and then tell the bartender to pour the other on his head if he wants a tip. This way, women can see that I have money to waste (excl) and I can force others to degrade themselves for my pleasure…also excl. #thatsexcl”
There you have it. Please use these tips sparingly and only when you have to. As always, remember to stay exclusive – mr excl
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